The Heaviest of Days

This is a picture from my adoption file taken on February 2, 1970 when I was 4 years old. I was already at the Holt Ilsan Orphanage and apparently getting prepared to come to the US to my adoptive family. I apparently had a mop of hair and I wonder if this picture is why my adoptive mother decided to keep me in the top knot not ponytail until my sister-in-law successfully “cut it off” when I was 13 prior to her marriage to my brother.

Heading into the Holt Korean offices to do my file review. The tears started from the moment I got off the bus and looked up at the building.

EJ was the sweet Holt Korea post-adoption services social worker who very thoughtfully and tenderly went over the file with me. Over time, I will share what that meant to me. I am so grateful that I was with a group of other adoptees who understand all the emotions I was experiencing as they were going through many of the same.

So many tears and I’m pretty sure those will continue to come through the next few days, weeks, months, and even years as I continue to process through this.